Report: What parents (don’t) know about online activities of their adolescent children?

Researchers set out to determine the extent to which parents of young adolescents are aware of what their children do and experience online. They focused on activities and experiences that carry potential risks and where parental awareness is crucial for timely intervention. These included sharing personal information, sexual or aggressive interactions, and exposure to harmful content. The study focused on 11- to 14-year-olds, an age group increasingly using digital platforms, primarily for social contact. "At the same time, this is still a period when parents play a vital role in their children's socialization and serve as a key source of support when needed," said lead author Lenka Dědková from the IRTIS team.

Adolescents most commonly share personal content with peers via private messages. More than two-thirds shared photos of themselves (78%) or photos revealing their current location (72%). Nearly 60% also posted such content on their social media profiles. Parents are generally well aware of these activities. However, awareness drops when it comes to sharing more sensitive personal details (e.g., full name, address) or login credentials (e.g., passwords), which some adolescents share not only with peers they know, but occasionally with people they met online. About half of parents are unaware when such content is shared. Encouragingly, only a minority of adolescents shared personal information with online-only acquaintances (less than a quarter in the case of photos). Sensitive detail, such as, personal identification data, content showing substance use, or login credentials, were shared least frequently (12% or less).

The study also examined three types of risky messages adolescents might receive or send: sexting, sexual solicitation (i.e., messages requesting sexual content or interaction), and aggressive messages. Adolescents are more likely to receive these messages than send them. Experiences with aggressive messaging were the most common (41% received, 18% sent), whereas both forms of sexual interactions were less frequent (16–19% received, 6–8% sent). Across all these interactions, 44–51% of parents were unaware that their child was sending or receiving such messages.

The final risky online experience analyzed was exposure to harmful content, such as, violent material, hate speech, content promoting extreme thinness or self-harm, etc. Depending on the specific topic, 34–49% of adolescents encounter such content online. The proportion of parents unaware of this exposure is similarly high, ranging from 32% to 43%.

The data clearly indicate that young adolescents encounter risky situations or engage in potentially risky behavior while navigating the digital space, and many parents underestimate this reality. "Across individual risky activities, we found that roughly 30 to 50% of parents were unaware that their teen had experienced a given risky situation. This pattern is particularly striking when compared to activities that are not as inherently risky, such as routine social media use, using generative AI, or privately messaging personal details to peers they know offline. For these activities, the vast majority of parents have an accurate knowledge of their children's behavior. In contrast, parental awareness of higher-risk experiences is low, which can create a barrier to providing the help and support some of these situations require," explained co-author Vojtěch Mýlek.

Findings regarding social media use highlight an interesting phenomenon. Although the minimum age requirement for most social platforms is 13, over half of 11- to 12-year-olds use TikTok and Instagram, and more than a third use Snapchat. However, the results show this is not happening in secret: in the vast majority of cases, parents are aware that their children are using social media below the official age limit.

The report also reveals that parents who underestimate their children's behavior are quite confident in their misconception. Most strongly believe their child did not participate in the behavior, even though the adolescents themselves reported otherwise. According to the researchers, this false sense of security prevents parents from taking a deeper interest in their children's digital lives and actively asking about them.

Recommendations for Parents

The report is not meant to cause panic. Adolescents can resolve many potentially problematic online situations independently or with help from friends, without parental intervention. As they grow older, they also require greater privacy and autonomy. "Parents don't need to know every single thing their children are doing. On the other hand, understanding what parents typically do or don't know about their children's online activities, as well as the communication barriers between parents and kids, can help prevent scenarios where a child needs help but is reluctant to ask for it," said Dědková.

Researchers advise parents to maintain a sense of curiosity rather than dismissing their children's online experiences. "Ask specific questions and let your child explain what is happening online in their own words," Dědková advises. Experts emphasize that parents should actively engage in conversations with their children about their digital lives. The data show that regularly asking children about what they do online encourages them to open up spontaneously, even when dealing with negative online experiences.

Younger adolescents often hesitate to confide in their parents about unpleasant online experiences because they fear being misunderstood or having their device use restricted as a punishment. "When talking to your child, approach them with respect and an open mind. Today, online experiences are an integral part of adolescent life—their friendships, entertainment, and education all take place partly online. Therefore, use restrictions judiciously and make sure your child understands why you are implementing them. Also, just because you feel certain your child isn't encountering problematic situations online doesn't mean that's the reality. Keep that in mind," the researcher added.